Pittsburgh is choking on testosterone. The locals are practically drowning in the shit. I hate them. I hate their disease. Millions of years of evolution and they regress to shit-flinging apes at a moment's notice. Their selective provincial patriotism is just as annoying as their sudden insistance on thrusting it in the face of anyone who needs to leave their house.

It's some kind of aggro-retard leper colony.

The best part? The collective testosterone-orgasm has made me physically ill. It's not the guns-and-fireworks-and-running-around-shirtless or the screaming or the bathroom-accessory waving or even the opportunistic lifesuckers. It's the fact that there's going to be at least two more weeks of it.

I need to move. Preferably to a city that's had its shots. Philadelphia doesn't seem to be anywhere near this degree of rabid, narrow-minded or neanderthalish about the Eagles... but Philadelphia actually has a lot of other things going for it. Pittsburgh doesn't. The locals know it and they're clinging to the one thing they do have with the sick desparation of a junky who needs something - anything - to live for.

Now they've been thrown a bone and rather than act like adults, the city has, as a whole, decided to drop its pants and do the potty dance.

Kids these days.

Update (through Daily Rotten) : My low opinion of these primates is justified.