Yes, 2005 had its moments. ATC shirts, getting The Edit more or less taken care of, Pumpcon, getting DCR more or less "going," finally have a camera, etc.

All that aside, this year has been sucking like a vacuum cleaner since April or so - and it's sucked like Godzilla's vacuum cleaner on a kilo of methamphetamines since the Fucking Holiday Season got rolling. Maybe earlier.

09:56 < mdxi> holy cocks
09:56 < mdxi> everytime i think i've seen the worst, the old codebase here vomits up a new horror
09:56 < mdxi> the databases here are in -14th normal form
09:57 <@ejp> ha
09:58 < mdxi> we provide movie data to our stations. we get this data from a Tribune media feed. it is processed nightly.
09:58 < mdxi> it is processed by *12* cron scripts which run over a span of seven hours
09:58 <@ejp> o_O
09:58 < mdxi> the movies table has a field for "rating", which doesn't have the rating in it
09:58 < mdxi> tha rating is in the showtimes table
09:58 < mdxi> along with the rating description
09:59 < mdxi> so, we store this string: Parents Strongly Cautioned
09:59 < mdxi> 126,000 times
09:59 <@ejp> XD
09:59 < mdxi> Parental Guidance Suggested a paltry 65,000 times

Timescape : Picard succumbs to "temporal narcosis," gets silly and draws a smiley on the gas plume of a warp core breach. At the end of the episode, Data experiments with relative temporal perception by watching a pot boil.

 

Timescape is a Bragastrosity, so despite the cute bits there's a staggering amount of bullshit that comes with it - anyone who's seen Generations, Nemesis, or more than forty seconds of Voyager knows what I'm talking about. The man (along with Berman) claims to understand Trek better than anyone - I'd argue that it's the same type of understanding a retard has of mental illness.

Much to my surprise, Benito Martinez (Aceveda in The Shield) popped up for five seconds as a transporter technician in part II of Descent (the Lorg vs. Hugh thing). Shortly after that (relatively speaking), BLAM!. Terry O'Quinn (John Locke in Lost) guests as Admiral Pressman in The Pegasus.*

 

* No, not THAT Pegasus. The other one. Though the commander of the current BSG Pegasus just happens to be Michelle Forbes, who played Ensign Ro in several episodes of TNG. For the win!

Point of nerdliness : The Pegasus is the same class as the Grissom, a wonky looking thing what got blowed up in The Search For Spock.

... but you can't change the fact that I'm innocent. Or the fact that I prefer mindfuckotron episodes and movies to holodeck accidents, time travel and other Braga bonerisms (such as the injection-molded plastic Blalock/Ryan slutbeasts that get my peers all moist and gooey).

Riker's turn in the mindfuckotron, insisting he's not crazy. The Alien-Of-The-Week is Yet Another Species Of Buttheads, there's spoon-talking, and Riker's got wicked bedhead. This isn't the first time Riker's been fucked with by aliens - see also Schisms (in the same season, no less).

Battery sampled the hell out of this episode, and imagemagick seems to have issues with punctuation in filenames.

Makes up for the flying troi ass. Hell, the episode features The Thing as a freighter captain (for about four seconds) and completely makes up for the tedious Braga embarassment that comes before it. It's a pretty decent Romulan episode - building on Unification but not as good as Balance of Terror. Bonus points for Troi being pissed and screaming I WILL HAVE YOU EJECTED INTO SPACE IS THAT CLEAR. Points off for nobody on the Federation side noticing Troi's disappearance- a line or two during a Captain's Log entry would have been more than sufficient... though crew reaction at a later point in the episode is quite satisfying.

I hate holidays. The good thing about The Big Ones is that society's blown so much effort on The Economy that it can't afford many extras, so the street is Just How I Like It.

The fifteen extras on duty were all jammed into the Crossroads, waiting on the clerk that had drawn the short straw. The Seven-Eleven in Oakland was closed, so food consisted of rationing a bag of Combos I'd left in the work refridgerator.

Slept badly and woke up around ten - too late to get to work on time if we were open - checked the website, noted that we weren't, watched some more Star Trek, showered, and proceeded to leave the house when my roommate made it obvious through noise that he was not only in for the day, but we were cleaning and he would be doing his part wearing a pair of briefs and nothing else.

Right.

At least he's cut. If I liked Manly Men I'd have no complaints. And he's paying half of the rent for an entire house sans attic. I pay the other half for said attic and a bathroom door bolt that my roommate throws like a fucking shotgun blast whenever he thinks I might need to shower or relax. Passive incidental things like this - combined with an internal groaning and general apprehension whenever I hear activity in the house - go a long way towards explaining why I spend so much time at work.

On days like this I'm ALONE at work. I need lots of Alone and it's been made clear to me that Alone isn't something you can get for 360$ a month. Alone costs more than that. I told my scantily clad roommate that while "we" might be cleaning this "shithole*," I would be heading to work to do paperwork. Paperwork that I'd been given the 15th, that had been due the 12th** and that I'd been told to hand in on the 24th.

Since nobody's in until the 27th, I figured I had a bit of leeway and I'd rather listen to the clanking of steam pipes than cringe at the possibility my co-habitant will once again misinterpret our presence at the same address as some sort of social obligation on my part. I went to work, got all of my paperwork-doing things together, and promptly - almost unwillingly - passed out under my desk for six hours.

I tried to do that yesterday, but reality got pissy with me. Today it had no complaints - I collapsed like a ton of bricks and was out like a light. Six hours on tile floor and I woke up feeling more together and with it than I have in a couple of weeks... which is still less together and with it than I feel when I'm operating at full steam. Wake up, do the paperwork, slip it under the required door and ponder what, if anything, to do next. Realize it involves going back home at some point and realize in turn that I find this about as appetizing as sleeping in a downtown dumpster.

The problem with holidays is that nothing useful is open - especially on Sunday holidays - and anyone available is either oozing from the holiday spirit guillotine or they're just as hung up about it as I am. No good.

I'm sure I'll find something to do. Then the month will end and a few days after that the Emotional Polarity will clear up and I'll be Fine until the second week of February, when I'll have every reason imaginable to get pissed off and depressed again. Maybe between now and then I'll be able to get some more comics work done.

* It is, and almost entirely through his efforts. See here for visual evidence of what happens when I refuse to clean up a mess I didn't make. On the upside, when I got home I took a look at the bathroom and it's cleaner than it's been in years. When he does clean, it's thorough.

** I was out. In fact, the 15th was the only day I worked in the period of Dec. 9 through Dec. 23. It wasn't nearly enough time off and I lacked the funds to actually do anything non-shitty with it, so I watched lots of Star Trek and failed to induce vomiting with alcohol.

So, when I wasn't drowning in whiskey or TNG episodes or sleeping, I spent most of the last week working on this:

Man, I'm glad that's over with. It would have been done last week, but working an 11520x8400 canvas, a full background and a dozen characters is a bit time consuming, especially considering how far the image has progressed from its starting point.

For a few years, various members of my diminished social circle have joked about being the X-men- my roommate (Ben) and I finally did something about it. He provided the initial pencils and inks, which took the form of a xerox of whiteout-heavy laser paper inked with ballpoints, which needed to be "adapted" to my coloring style. I cleaned up the inks and did everything else.

I've done cosplayish work before. There have, I think, been worse crossovers. MUCH worse. So breathe and just be happy I'm not one of those whacked-out fanboi who thinks it's a good idea to run around in long underwear and Oakleys.

Oddly enough, the fun part of this was researching and getting proper colors (and in Angel's case, corrections) of the various X-Men costumes. This French site turned out to be fantastically useful- and proof that when it comes to bad character design and crap costuming, Marvel has a huge lead on Star Trek. I'd ask loudly that somone whack these idiots in the head until they learn "proper" fashion design, but fashion designers came up with bellbottoms, afros and bling. Forget those guys.

Oh, and I'm Colossus because my Everyman* physique makes me a real pain in the ass to match up to anyone else in the menagerie.

I'm more than ready to get back to ATC now.

1. I'm not exactly good with the whole "collaborating" thing, even when it's in exactly the capacity I want to be working in. The conceptual end was fun, but cleanup was a serious drag. I theorize that if I was working comics Professionally, I wouldn't be spending as much time doing cleanup.

2. Marvel uses some retina-scorchingly bright colors.

3. Mostly due to 1., Chris Claremont and the costume collection pointed out earlier, I'm now even less interested in working for The Majors. It's not something I ever seriously considered to begin with, but when you spend two years in the same building as a legion of acned fanboys who find debating the "finer" points of McFarlane and Lee to be more interesting than classwork or girls, well... it rubs off. To the extent that anything else does (politics, street names, etc).

4. Large-scale work is now entirely a matter of patience, time, and subject matter. Much less intimidating, though I doubt I'll have an urge to do anything along these lines again any time soon.

5. If I buy anything the next time I'm at Phantom, it'll probably be more Cerebus. Doing a hero piece hasn't whet my appetite for more hero work, and I see that as a good thing. The world needs another comics artist with a superhero boner about as much as it needs another Bush in office.

* In the sense that every Tom, Dick and Asshole in Pittsburgh who has a ponytail also has a goattee and glasses. Which means I hear "you remind me of ___________" almost as often as I hear "YOU SHULD WORK FOR TEH RADIOZ!!!". I did work for TEH RADIOZ many moons ago and I'll bet ___________ wears a bigger asshat, kthks. Ben's a haircut away from Wolverine, David's got the eyebrows and you'll just have to trust me when I say that everyone else is more accurate than I am. Better Colossus than Marrow or Maggot or one of the other post-Fatal Attractions abortions.

08:30 <@solios> fucking goddamned HATE this time of year.
08:31 <@solios> it's like society's immune system is working overtime to flush me out of it.
08:31 <@ejp> o_O
08:32 <@ejp> you're not really comfortable in the world, are you?
08:32 <@solios> generally speaking, no.
08:33 <@solios> every girl in town is being soul-sucked by some fucking male leech-thing, I feel like a prisoner in my own fucking house, I'm more exhausted as a result of my "vacation" than I was before it, I've hated work for months, I have no money, no credit, no decent home equipment, etc, etc.
08:34 <@solios> but I'm also in DIRE NEED of sleep that this fucking environment WILL NOT ALLOW ME, so my attitude is pretty skewed.
08:34 <@solios> :P
08:38 <@ejp> s'what you get for the college/drugs/fun thing earlier.
08:40 <@solios> that was fun in the same way sawing your dick off with a spoon is fun.
08:40 <@solios> everything I remember from thursday night makes me not want to.
08:40 <@solios> it's no wonder some girl wound up taking a two-story header.*
08:42 <@ejp> no, I mean Earlier.
08:42 <@solios> o_o

* Same place, a bit after I left.

Last weekend:

This weekend I "work." Everything in between was allegedly "vacation." If you'd consider a six day drinking binge with nothing accomplished to be a "vacation.*" Hell, I didn't even sleep well. Well meaning at all when it comes to last night. Go go gadget grumpy.

* Six days of almost meeting girls and getting completely tanked with all the characteristics of a waking nightmare. If I lived alone I'd have no reason or need to leave the house.

While the episode itself is decent, this particular scene is easily one of the hokiest in all of Trek. Bonus points for the Ghost Ship (a big weak spot of mine) and Guinan's assault rifle.

One of my mission objectives this week is marathoning every single Star Trek movie, with breaks where appropriate - to be followed by assessment and breakdown. I haven't hit that point yet but I'll be damned if Star Trek VII doesn't suck worse than V (or even I, for those of you who don't appreciate the Trek tradition of paying "tribute" to other successful sci-fi by ripping it off wholesale).

01:04 < solios> holy crap.
01:04 < solios> so, uh.
01:04 < solios> transition from ST6 to ST7?
01:05 < solios> ad Berman and suddenly they're shitting technobabble like it's going out of style.
01:06 < solios> ST1-6 were all plot driven goodness; this may as well be fantasy.
01:08 < vai> I canna feet anymohr dilithium oop my ass sir.
01:08 < solios> pretty much.
01:08 < solios> fuck, they've even got scotty spewing it. :(
01:08 < solios> I hate Berman.
01:08 < solios> he's an offense to all that is good and holy about Trek.
01:12 < solios> Scotty++
01:13 < solios> cuts from a gaping hole in the Enterprise B to a Fucking Goddamned Holodeck scene.
01:13 < solios> says everything, really.
01:14 < solios> Berman--
01:14 < vai> If humanity had things like holodecks, I'd doubt anyone much would have the initiative to fuck off into space.
01:14 < solios> fagbot: berman?
01:14 < fagbot> BOOBS MAKE A QUALITY PRODUCT. WE DON'T NEED WRITERS, WE NEED BOOBS! AND TIME TRAVEL!
01:14 < solios> fagbot: botsnack
01:15 < fagbot> thanks solios :)
01:15 < solios> (that's the plot of ST8, right there.)
01:15 < vai> ? boob and time travel?
01:16 < solios> yes.
01:16 < solios> Borg tits in the 21rst century.

Oh, and there's a "Reverse the Polarity" at 34 minutes. That shit got old back in the Pertwee era of Doctor Who - it was used up when we were playing golf on the moon but apparently Braga missed the sixties, seventies, etceteras. Hell, the fucker thinks technobabble is one of the things that makes Trek. Data's thoroughly punchable and though I haven't seen Insurrection since the theater run - I get to sit through The Horror that is First Contact before I inflict that on myself again - I think ST7 does a good job of underscoring my negative reaction to what was effectively a long, shmaltzy episode - lengthy bits of near-acting that are just incredibly Anakin-and-Amadala degrees of agonizing.

Hornbach, take two:

13:35 * pw is listening to End Neu (Live) by Einstürzende Neubauten from Strategies Against Architecture III (Disc 1)
13:35 <@pw> ^^ Godlike.
13:36 <@solios_> you've seen Blixa do the Hornbach readings, yes?
13:36 <@pw> No?
13:36 <@pw> Do I want it?
13:37 <@solios_> omfg.
13:37 <@solios_> http://swen.antville.org/stories/923786/
13:37 <@_Lasar> !
13:37 <@_Lasar> You want to see those.
13:37 <@solios_> they're great.
13:37 <@_Lasar> Indeed.
13:37 * pw has no brain power tonight, but bookmarks for later downloadage.
13:38 <@solios_> dude at least look at one.
13:38 <@_Lasar> There is no brain power required.
13:38 <@solios_> indeed.
13:38 <@_Lasar> Click, click on any one from the list, and watch.
13:38 <@_Lasar> NOW
13:38 <@solios_> _Lasar++
13:38 <@_Lasar> It will GIVE you brainpower.
13:39 <@pw> WMV
13:39 * pw whimpers
13:39 <@pw> WMV always cacks out on me about 75% of the way through.
13:39 <@_Lasar> Use VLC
13:39 <@_Lasar> WMP--
13:39 <@_Lasar> I have teh same issues.
13:40 <@_Lasar> But these are short, I think even WMP should play them.
13:40 <@_Lasar> I carry these movies everywhere on my Xda.
13:41 <@pw> I should point out that I'm very pleased that I have a 10mbps connection.
13:42 <@_Lasar> Shut up and watch.
13:42 <@_Lasar> If this isn't the best thing that happened to you today, then you had sex.
13:43 <@solios_> XD
13:45 <@pw> Blimey.
13:45 * pw now wishes he had a video iPod.
13:45 <@pw> Yes.
13:45 <@pw> Excellent.

12:43 < solios> I'm out of clean underwear...
12:47 < vai> I'm out of underwear full stop.
12:47 < vai> For about the last 10 years.
12:47 < solios> :x
12:48 < solios> fagbot: doot vai
12:48 < fagbot> today it suck
12:48 < vai> underwear is a pointless thing.
12:49 < solios> maybe for you and xeno.
12:49 < solios> nadbra++
12:49 < vai> ... >.<
12:50 < solios> FREEDOM! is something my testicles neither need nor want.
12:50 < solios> I tried boxers. >_<
12:50 < solios> < any_number_of_monkeys> dude boxer briefs reduce your sperm count.
12:50 < solios> < me> awesome.
12:51 < solios> < any_number_of_monkeys> O_o
12:52 < vai> actually, yer y-fronts will do that more. There's a reason them things have free vertical motion.
12:52 < vai> First natural thermometer. Well, not the first.
12:52 < solios> (jingle balls)--
12:54 < vai> do your nads hang low, ...
12:54 < vai> wait - I think you just answered that question.
12:56 < solios> :x
13:04 < mdxi> o/` do your balls hang low / can you swing 'em to and fro / can you tie 'em in a knot / can you tie 'em in a bow / do you ever get the feeling when you hit 'em on the ceiling / that you'll never be a sailor if your balls hang low o/`
13:05 < solios> O_o
13:05 < vai> that was the general idea. seen the flash animation + granny?
13:05 < mdxi> no, just know the song

16:23 < solios> holy fuck Christ Analogue sucks.
16:23 < solios> they're bad like Strommkern.
16:26 < mdxi> i upgraded to comcast digital christ
16:27 < solios> I'm still getting my christ through UHF
16:27 < solios> it's this magical mystical mix of shitty spoken word and "minimal" (read : bad) programming.
16:28 < solios> it's like some guy who's seen pi too many times masturbating on a casio.
16:28 < vai> er. Yeah, though I walk through the valley of solios' imagination, God - who am I kidding RUN!!!
16:28 < mdxi> that movie really kinda sucked
16:29 < mdxi> it was cool in the beginning but then the last act was just retarded
16:29 < solios> yes but the qabbala was mostly accurate.
16:29 < solios> pretty much.
16:29 < solios> it was Eraserhead with Math instead of the baby. :P
16:30 < mdxi> rule #1 for good moviemaking: NEVER START WITH THE TECHNOBABBLE -- IF YOU NEED COMPUTER MAGIC, JUST MAKE IT HAPPEN AND LEAVE IT UNSAID
16:30 <@bda> LA BELLE DAME SANS REGRETS

12:10 < solios> hahahah.
12:10 < solios> Picard commissioning Wesley.
12:12 < mdxi> <jlpic> Wesley, I commission you...to toss my salad
12:13 < mdxi> * jlpic bends over
12:13 < mdxi> <riker6969> zomg lollerz
12:13 < mdxi> <sonuvmogh> U R WITHOUT TEH HONOR

10:52 < mdxi> god this crap about "podjacking" is so fucking whiny
10:52 <@rjbs> ugh what?
10:52 <@john> ?
10:53 < mdxi> some lame-o who has a vegan podcast is all pissed that -- HORRORS -- people can PARSE RSS FEEDS AND REPURPOSE THEM INTO NEW FEEDS
10:53 < mdxi> AAAAH THE INTERNETS ARE STEALING MY SUBSCRIBERS
10:53 < mdxi> see slashdot
10:53 <@john> see slashdot run
10:53 <@john> crash slashdot crash
10:53 < mdxi> unlikely
10:53 < mdxi> (running)
10:54 <@john> haha 'the podjacker "THREAT"'
10:55 < mdxi> i thought the whole point of RSS was that it was easilly parsable and readable adn extractable
10:55 < mdxi> WHERE IS YOUR PRECIOUS REMIX CULTURE NOW, ASSHOLE

... is that the acting is just as horrifically uneven as the set design and the writing. For every Balance Of Terror, you've got at least one of this dude, from Dagger Of The Mind.

This guy makes Yoda's forty minute death-gargle in Jedi look like Citizen fucking Kane.

As for the rest of the episode:

Einstürzende Neubauten vocalist Blixa Bargeld reads from the Hornbach catalog.

(src=_Lasar)

21:29 < arbo> So is Samuel Adams winter lager different from the rest of the year, or just a marketing ploy?
21:29 < arbo> Heh.
21:29 < arbo> I love this.
21:29 < arbo> I just realized I have a question that can really only be answered by drinking beer.
21:29 < arbo> I wish it worked for everything else.